Wrong Subject

 It's been a while, but why not come back with what's been going on in my head. Sometimes as an artist you get inspiration to do something, but sometimes it just isn't for you. Not every thing you see someone else do, or everything you think would make an amazing image will come out like roses. Truth be told I need to take this advice to heart.

   I have a bad habit of talking to and dating the wrong woman because of minor things, and never had any real thought behind it. Punchline is I'm single. These movies where the one you least expect or the one that you hate ending up being the one is most likely a fairy tale.
  The one for you will most likely be a friend. Even if you're introduced as a dating scenario, you most likely will have a physical attraction; but it is not their looks that will give them the nod. When that person talks to you like a human being and not like an interview, I would say that's the one, when a women or a man isn't afraid to be honest even if embarrassment or fear of rejection is on the table, and the person won't make up stupid rules or make dumb reasons not to talk to you.
     I have a habit of also dating what my friends would think is acceptable when it's not them who has to endure the person. Being told what subject to shoot in a photo shoot can often leave you dumbfounded and lost because the subject doesn't attract you, but is attractive. I've fought for drowning relationships, horrible people, and desperation.
  At the end of the day it's ok to be attracted to someone, but you don't have to date or want to be with every attractive thing walking. Please take a serious look at who you are seeing or attracted to. Ask yourself will you be proud or happy with this subject 10-15 years from now, and don't allow your friends to cloud your judgment. Worst thing you can do is allow you friends opinions to keep you from YOUR happiness. God bless

Behind the Lens

  Everyone wonders what goes on in the mind of an artist, or genius or prodigy. I can't personally attest to anything other than being an artist, and it's a very complicated thing. It's like a burst of ideas going through my mind at once; manipulating basic tales, and characters into a personal interpretation. Weaving new styles overbearing with charisma and stylization. At the same time, feeling as a lone wolf; outcasted by my own thoughts and individuality.
  So how do I connect this with current times? Dreams in life are our own camera lenses. We behind them driven to capture what is to be the perfect image of our lives. Personally I wonder who am I to be qualified to offer these self help tips or encouraging blogs when I don't have an achievements or accolades that attest to my success. What do I have to give but the same old, annoying keep on going it'll be ok, do your best and no one can blame you for the rest, or the best out of them all if you fall down just get back up again.
  I'm sure you've heard at least one of these in your life and rolled your eyes the same as well. So I digress and really reveal myself to what is an already knowledgeable audience to who I am. I'm a walking contradiction. I am insecure, but confident, lost, but following a path I feel is the right one; lonely, but not a believer in relationships really, and to top it off failure, but successful.
  I mean lets make it brief and start at the top. I don't like how I look. Not facially or anything of the such, but I'm self conscious about my figure. Girly I know, but I don't have one of these tv bodies where I can walk around with my shirt off and feel like everyone is eye raping me. More like eye clothing me. The thing is, that I don't mind talking to women or talking to complete strangers and being myself. I don't mind being the guy who stands out at all, and I don't mind being in the lime light though I avoid it as much as possible.
  Now to my path. As much as I fail I can't help but try, and try again, and try again; like a kid addicted to mario bros with unlimited lives to spare. I keep running into reminders on quitting, and reminders on why everyday I have to do this. So am I some insane guy with a gluttony for punishment? Probably, but if I wasn't, then I would be an unhappy, fat, coach, with no aspirations to help the youth or people of tomorrow.

 I'm going to get this out now, and this is going to sound rude as Hell, but what would a blog be without realism. I don't like women as people right now. I've met some of the scummiest, childish, B&*%%iest, women in the most recent of months. It's like no matter how rare a woman seems them same personality seems to rear it's ugly head from inside their pretty little mouths. I tell you now, their is nothing more ugly than and woman with a scrunched up face, attitude, cursing mouth, and cigarette in her hand. I have to ask is it too much to find an understanding, funny, women who can understand my life? A woman who can understand what drives me and that money means absolutely nothing to me? A woman who can push me, challenge me, and love me all at the same Damn time? (sorry had to do it.) I mean long legs, Hispanic roots, and a history in tennis, track, or gymnastics would just top it off.
  But I digress again. I can't see myself being in a relationship. it's as if I can't find a woman who can keep up with me. I can't find a woman on my level, and if you're murmuring to yourself, this boy doesn't know anything, or who hasn't met me yet; ask yourself this. When is the last time you 2 miles, when was the last time you oped out of an argument in hopes of an easy resolution instead of tilting your head, flicking your wrist and mumbling about how this boy don't know nothing about nothing or some bull ish like that.

  I think what really lies behind my camera lens is a story that I'll only read. There aren't too many people really interested in deep thought anymore. everyone too concerned with glittery vampires, teen death matches, or reality tv to care what people really think. So I leave like this, I'll love the day when God proves my contradiction life wrong, and gives me a reason to boast. All I have right now is the testimony that I'm alive and kicking. I have a great job, a family, and that I have a goal in life. Until I start seeing people's lives change I haven't made it yet. Thanks for reading. I promise that the next one with be a lot more positive.

Shutter Speed

   The Shutter on a camera controls the light to leak into the camera and stick onto the film. The shutter speed determines the brightness and the darkness of an image. The quicker the shutter the more contrast you're likely to get in well lighted area, and the slower it is the better your darker images will come out.

  I haven't been on this blog for a while. I figured I'd have nothing left to talk about, but I was wrong. Life passes by so quickly. It's hard to capture every moment or realize just how lucky we are to be who we are in the time that we are. There are so many things in life you can't leave to chance. I mean when you're living and hoping and praying something great will happen well that's one thing; but if you're literally hoping life will go in your favor and aren't doing anything to push it that way then you might just be the dumbest person alive.
  Life just doesn't happen to folks. People don't just wake up a millionaire without buying a lottery ticket. People don't wake up with that dream job or winning the big game or position without pressing in. Some things on the other hand do come down to chance. Chance bumping into a old friend who has a dream job for you, or meeting eyes with the Starbucks counter girl and falling madly in love. And even these things you need to get out of bed because it's not just going to come straight to you. Life just doesn't work out that way.


  So no matter how dark your days are, or how lost in the crowd you are; remember that life is like a shutter. The shutter opens quickly and closes just as quick capturing that moment in time. So get as much out of your life while your shutter is still open. Faith, love, and dreams. Thanks for reading.

Day 7 Completion

I finally made the trip down. I'm here and now I'm ready to take the next step for the future. The future is the scariest thing to people because one it involves change, two because you have no control of the unknown, and three it is a 50/50 chance that you might fail. The fact of the matter is that God won't let you fail at his plan. So in saying that I want to thank you, the reader. You have inspired me to be innovative and go beyond my own comprehension to reach for the stars. I haven't had this much faith in a long time and this trip is just one more step to the future. So I appreciate all of you who take the time to read my blog and respond. I will miss all of you guys who are close friends, and I will be praying for your success on your future en devours and also your own leap of faiths. So for now this is Goodbye; but mostly this is thank you and see you later.

Day 6 Good times

I can't help but enjoy the good times. I've been traveling all over since this week began visiting people and or doing things that I haven't done since I was an undergraduate student. So now I'm listening to GreenDay - I hope you had the time of your life. This song bring back a lot of great memories and just having fun with folks. It's sad, and feels warm, and safe at the same time; but I know it has to end. Thanks to everyone's well wishes, I'm not scared of the future. The future can pretty much be whatever God designs it to be. It's exciting, though I can't help but feel like I have to tell someone something or confess a great love; but I've done that already. I really believe I'm ready to move on. I pray that I see you all someday in the future. I love you all and hope you keep reading. Thank you.

Day 5 It's so hard to say Goodbye

So I've been individually telling people goodbye. The funny thing is, is that things seem to be just falling into place. I haven't been chewed out by people or even family when I told them I was on my way out. I talked to even my boss today and she looked at me and was all smiles. I now stand before God, bare, and open to his word. God, it's so funny how you shape people's hearts to your will. Now that I follow you, you've convinced everyone that this is what is to be. I am happy, so though the song says it's so hard to say Goodbye to yesterday, I stand here smiling saying I'm more looking forward to saying hello to tomorrow.

Day 4 Face the Music

So after all the parties and hoopla, I'm left with just me. Everyone has said their goodbyes and I'm left to my own devices and to do with my time as I will. I often come to the conclusion of now what? I've done all the cliche movie type leaving sequences and yet I still feel like this is so unreal. I went to work and told my boss and with a grin on his face he said true, and kept it moving. I'm wondering for the first time was this so called "life" just waiting for me to leave it and begin something better? Now I sit in my room typing and the only thing I can think of is the music that played at the end of the scrubs series finale. The words say, "The book of Love, is long and boring; and no one can lift a damn thing. It's full of charts, and facts and figures; and instructions for dancing; but I------ I love it when you read to me, but you------- you can read me anything. The book of love has music in it, in fact that's where music comes from." Your probably like what is he talking about, but just watch it http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ytXEtbC4OqA&feature=related and you'll see exactly what I'm talking about. One more step towards facing my music.