Calling God

(Beeeeeeeeeep)
Hello........ God?........
Well, I've tried to call you, but it's like your not there. Have you left? Are you helping others in your most gracious way? God do you even hear me? I sit here on my curb looking to the stars saying this cannot be by accident. This amount of beauty and glorious display can't be a mistake. But can I be? Lord I've tried so hard to be your soldier of fortune but being the soldier without the fortune or the fortune of seeing you is a army with no country. God do you HEAR ME? Please I'm begging you that I'm falling short of your kingdom but I fight for you. I wear you banner as the only clothing keeping me from being bare to this world to see my naked body laid spread as if road kill from the amount of times I've failed to earn glory in your name. I'll climb the mountain and command it to move, I'll mount up with wings just so people will know you are God, but now I wonder am I the least of them. The children you hold so dear to you, that you chose them and cast a shadow on me......Selfish; your right God I'm selfish I have no right to question you....... but why does my heart long for your voice to ease my suffering and to give me direction. GOD DO YOU HEAR ME!......... HELLO?.............................................................please.......................................I need you. (click)

Little shrapnel

Little shrapnel, you are my hate my physical
Little shrapnel, you are lonely searching for a home
Oh little shrapnel, find a loving home here in my brother
Little shrapnel, he does not understand my way of life
But little shrapnel, you don't care
Little shrapnel, you are my inner most beliefs
Little shrapnel, you are my biased opinion
But little shrapnel, why have you chosen me?
I thought we were friends little shrapnel
Since we are friends you might as well live in me....

Heart Search

Death affects me so little now. Even with the news of my grandmothers passing, I feel empty as if I never new her. A passing stranger with a catching glance is all I may remember her by. To live heading towards doom being our sunsets. I wish this entry had more love and brightness to give hope to the dying light but I have none to spare from my own. How did I become so cold to loss; is death that meaningless or just that frequent that it's like a familiar friend stopping for a visit. Well my friend, you have taken the last of me; so carry her home, kiss her for me, and maybe return some love that I man feel what i've been missing al my life... which is..............